Where to Start? – ElPropósito7 min de lectura

When the chords of our purpose are in tune

Photo by Arindam Mahanta on Unsplash

Where do I start? It’s a question I run into almost every time I want something. The bad news is that I know it should always be the last question I ask myself. The good news is that another approach lets me dig into a few elements that lead to a better answer and a better understanding of that first step, or at least keep me from settling for the first thing that comes to mind when I want to achieve something.

In coaching (quality coaching), we place great importance on the goal our client wants to reach and on why they want to reach it, both in a specific session and across the whole coaching process over a series of sessions (at least in the coaching program I deliver and trained in). Yet there’s a more basic point that lives within each of us before we go looking for a mentor, a coach, a consultant or an advisor: a reality check I believe we’re all called to do at some point before we set off, or before we play our own symphony.

The first point is truth: being honest with ourselves. The pure, genuine truth that lives inside us and that, deep down, we’re aware of. An inescapable truth that echoes in our inner voice when it says "that’s not what you’re really looking for"… "what you really want is". Ignoring that truth is a serious mistake. Its consequences can be disastrous, or in the worst case lead us quickly into apathy and a lack of confidence, and above all open the door to a downward spiral of uncertainty and even anxiety.

Next comes immediacy. In a world full of fast, easy things available in the palm of our hand (anywhere on the planet), we’ve fallen for the illusion that only the immediate has value. Think of the effort it takes to keep a friendship going or to stay close to family. All of that requires cultivation, and as any good farmer knows, cultivation takes time. Compound interest, however effective at building a fortune, also takes time. So immediacy is just a limiting belief tied to instant gratification, when what is truly gratifying comes from a sense of meaning in life, which takes time to find, build or discover.

The next step in knowing where to start is the good. What makes me a better person, helps me grow as a human being, lets me make the world around me better, allows me to develop my full potential and gives me peace and calm when I’m living it? We know the answers to these questions. They live inside us, and our inner voice knows them. To the extent that we can answer them, we’ll know which ventures deserve our time and effort.

The realistic. This factor decides between success and the frustration of getting involved in something only to realize it wasn’t what we were really after. Or the opposite: it was so clear from the start that now, as I reach it, I’m living it just as I saw it on day one, so much so that I can almost see myself at the finish line. Being realistic is closely tied to our natural tendency to imagine and to want. I see it clearly when I can easily say what the first step in that direction is. If the answer is hard to picture, the goal isn’t realistic enough yet.

The basics. For me, the basics are the most fundamental things. They’re tied to my values, to what essentially defines me, and they show me the minimum I want and need to live in harmony with myself. Much of what I long for is beyond what I can afford right now, but beyond anything material, what I want most in life is peace and calm, and that is often what I find hardest to come by.

What is in my hands. A Stoic principle I value, appreciate and try to practice as fully as I can, because it gives me freedom. It may be one of the hardest for me to accept, since it has always been in my nature to want to give more or get more involved. The power of what’s in our hands comes before ideas. It’s the catalyst for the first step and has a direct influence on turning what we want and long for into reality.

Finally, help. For a long time I sailed my boat alone. I was the only actor on stage. Yet our world is a mass of land that receives millions of rays of sunlight every day, completely free, and we human beings are charged with energy that also came to us free in some way. We’re called (almost obliged) to help, to give "until it hurts", to support others, to give our best and to be our best version for those around us. We’re also almost obliged to ask for help, to know whom to ask and to thank them from the heart when it arrives, because it (always, always, always) arrives when we need it most.

I know this is a long post, and as always, thank you for reading this far. I felt I needed to go a little deeper into my ideas on this subject before we dive into the year. Tuning an instrument takes a lot of experience, technique and time. So how long does it take to tune the orchestra of our thoughts and know where to start?

The chords of purpose play a beautiful, unique symphony that no one else can hear but us. I hope yours is the most beautiful in the universe and, above all, that it brings you a great deal of meaning in everything you’re doing or set out to do from now on.

Warm regards,

Rodrigo Baccaro

This week’s VELA:

• What I was Watching: Should You Specialize or Be a Generalist? A good video from Tim Ferriss’s YouTube channel. As a personal anecdote, a boss I once had skipped asking me questions, guiding me or "coaching" me and simply gave me the answer (his own answer) about what I should be and what I should become. A clear example of the differences found at the foundation of who we are as human beings: our values.
• What I was Listening to: A Few Thoughts for a New Year. From Sam Harris’s podcast (Making Sense). I’m a Sam Harris fan and use his meditation app (Waking Up), and I think this is one of the good podcasts to start the year with, especially the part about "how informed are you?"
• What I was Reading: 12 Rules for Life. I admit this isn’t an easy book (not for me, anyway). It has been a challenge in the sense that I want to capture every single message the author reveals. It inspires me and lets me connect many dots in my life that probably needed a meeting point.
• What I was Learning: How to Instantly Achieve a Calm State. My mind is a rocket ship I’ve rarely been inside, even though I’ve practiced meditation for many years. Luckily I’ve been curious since I was a child, and I haven’t stopped learning techniques that reduce anxiety. For a few months now it has spiked enormously and put me in a very difficult state, which I’ve been slowly coming out of with the support of many people and, above all, with interviews and videos like this one, which I recommend 100 percent.

Author: Rodrigo Baccaro

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