Challenges – ElPropósito4 min de lectura

Keys to facing the challenges we never chose

Life is constant chaos. We see it at the cellular level and across the universe, and in the middle are we human beings, trying to find balance in what happens to us and some way to bring peace to the chaos of thoughts orbiting in our minds. The biggest challenges we face in life are often a source of chaos, imbalance and anguish. Other challenges leave us inspired, full of passion and eager to take them on. Whatever the challenge ahead, there is no single way to solve it, and this is where all kinds of scenarios and strategies emerge as we venture deeper into the jungle of working it out. One way I like to look at solving problems and challenges is through the support we can draw from the network around us. We may not see it, but it exists and it is real. It can be made up of colleagues, friends, family, mentors, coaches and others. It is a net we absolutely must cast into the sea to catch good advice, good guidance or a powerful question that makes us reflect deeply.

How do we enter a challenge? Some we take on by choice and others arrive uninvited. The ones we choose depend on us to make them real. Usually that is when we set a goal or an objective and fight tirelessly until we reach it, often investing something along the way. This is very common both in organizations and in our personal lives. An organization, for example, builds a strategic plan to move from point A to a future point B, aiming to serve its customers much better or simply to avoid disappearing. On a personal level, we take on challenges to improve our health or our finances, or to buy something like a house to give our loved ones a better quality of life. These are examples of chosen challenges we commit to body and soul, and through them we reach our visions of the future. What about the ones we never chose, the ones that show up and that we have to face even though we never wanted them?

I see unchosen challenges as everything we never wanted that came anyway, and came to stay. When one of these arrives, I often think of one of Ray Dalio’s principles from his book Principles: "Pain + Reflection = Progress." Many unchosen challenges hurt and create friction, and unless we reflect on it, we will not progress. It often begins with accepting the situation. Denying it will only leave us worse off in the long run. The next big step is to assess the challenge, and here the Stoics offer a whole range of powerful tools to gauge how big or small it really is. Taken to the extreme, they would say it is an illusion, that the challenge we imagine is a tiny situation in our minds compared with the vastness and beauty of nature. I am not a big fan of that view, though it does help us see the whole forest along with the tree.

An unchosen challenge needs a plan, and like any good plan it must be realistic, with a couple of key actions that let us invest our resources efficiently, usually our time and our thoughts. We need to strip away as much of the noise surrounding the challenge as we can. Sticking to the plan is like lashing ourselves to the ship’s mast, as Ulysses did, to resist every siren song: "you won’t be able to," "that’s not the way," "whenever this kind of thing happens, it always sets off…" Anything outside the plan should not be followed, tracked or given a single second of attention. While carrying out the plan, it is important to ask for support, just as Ulysses asked to be tied to the mast and have his eyes covered. That is when we must lean on our support network, and the key is knowing how to listen. A support network is pure love. It is made up of the people we trust most and who have the biggest hearts, ready to give us whatever we need to get through that unchosen challenge.

An unchosen challenge can be extremely demanding, so we must never neglect taking care of ourselves. Eating well, exercising, keeping a positive attitude, being patient and celebrating small wins are all part of that care. The great joy of these challenges is that we come out stronger, having built a deeply rewarding experience. Let’s not forget that life brings us challenges we choose and challenges we don’t, and in both cases how we face them is always our choice: from fear and dread, or from the hope and joy of knowing we will see them through.

Warm regards and all the best,

Rodrigo Baccaro

P.S. I dedicate this post to everyone going through a challenge they never chose. I am certain that with the help of God, the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Holy Spirit, especially today on Pentecost, you will come out stronger than ever.

Author: Rodrigo Baccaro

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