The Positive Side of Listening – ElPropósito4 min de lectura

The benefits of listening and the power of silence

Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash

One of our great abilities as human beings, even a special kind of power, is listening. Yet one barrier we keep running into is silence, and not knowing what to do with it. When there’s no sound, a very particular discomfort shows up, at least where I come from. That experience usually brings constant chatter that sometimes leads to solutions, depending on how it’s handled, and other times is simply more of the same. What turns the discomfort of silence into a great tool?

In my short professional and personal experience, I’ve seen how many spaces "have to" be filled with words. The boss who answers "I don’t know" to a question feels, and looks, uncomfortable. The leader who trusts himself, faced with an answer like that, knows that unique answers come from vulnerability.

Silence is the positive side of listening. Focused listening includes silence, which lets us get the most out of words. Getting there, though, takes courage, bravery and empathy to understand the other person’s context (or other people’s), especially when we fear reaching that point of silence where there’s nothing more to say.

Communication is a natural need for every living being, and as humans we carry many tools in our DNA that further boost the kind and quality of relationships we long for. One of them is understanding what communication really means. Finding the balance between words, silence and active listening is a winning strategy that undoubtedly improves the odds of communicating better, even with ourselves.

How do we find the point where what we want to say (our need to communicate) balances with how much we want to hear (other people’s need to communicate with us)? A lot depends on the purpose of the relationship and the goals we want to achieve. The quality of a relationship is directly tied to how well both sides listen. When that balance breaks, the relationship, or the system the two create together, is at risk of disappearing.

The most precious stones in this universe are given to us every day by the people who listen to us with great patience, authenticity and empathy. How much do you listen to others? How much do you trust, or are you willing to trust, silence? What would it be like to spend an entire day just listening to others and trying to understand what they want to tell you? One of the biggest improvements we can make, starting tomorrow, lies in the kind of communication we give and receive, especially in recognizing, and being aware of, the power behind simply listening.

Warm regards,

Rodrigo Baccaro

• P.S. This week’s VELA (what I was Watching, Listening to, Reading and Learning):
• What I was Watching: The brain-changing benefits of exercise. A great video on the benefits of exercise. A fascinating talk, well worth watching. One of those rare videos that, if you’re already clear on why exercise matters, settles the case for good
  – What I was Listening to: How to Use Your Phone… So That It Doesn’t Use You. I admire Tim Ferriss. He’s been a great teacher through the many strategies he’s discovered and shares with the public. One I learned from him years ago was the benefit of switching your phone to black and white, but this video takes the phone to another level
  – What I was Reading: Beyond Order: 12 more rules for life. This book may take me several months to read, and it’s a great work I’m thrilled to have in my hands
  – What I was Learning: 10 Min Workout. A wonderful resource (one of many online) for ab workouts. Ten killer minutes, extremely satisfying, well worth the time and closely tied to the W in this VELA
• P.S. I dedicate this post to the memory of the father of my great friend and flight instructor, Captain Federico Kopp (Fredy). May God receive your dad into His glory, and may he always watch over our wings from above and correct our course when needed. A big hug to you and your whole family, my dear Fredy. Thank you for listening to me for so many hours every time we fly.

Author: Rodrigo Baccaro

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